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Foreword—Why Empowered
Recovery?
Why this Book is
Different • The Solution Lies Within You •
Alcoholism Statistics
Introduction—What is
Empowered Recovery?
Precepts of the
Recovery Paragon • Frequently Asked Questions
1.
Is it
Alcoholism or Not?
Warning Signs •
Short Test • Heavy Drinking vs. Alcoholism • Who is
the Problem? • Threat of Violence
2.
Plausible Deniability—The Fine Art of Fooling
Yourself
“Plausible
Deniability” • “The Dirty Secret” • High
Emotional Cost of Denial • Exploring Your Own Denial
• The Danger of Detachment • Losing the Denial and
Reclaiming You
3.
A Private Hell of Our Own
Making—Responsibility, Acceptance and Commitment
Responsibility •
Empowered Recovery is About Resolution • Three
Immutable Laws • Acceptance and Commitment • 10
Reasons Why Empowered Recovery is Not for You
4.
Understanding the Nature of Alcoholism
“Why Alcoholism is
a Disease” • The Disease Concept and Control •
“Why Alcoholism is Not a Disease” • Powerlessness
and Control • Personal Responsibility • What Does it
All Mean?
5. The Nature of Alcoholism in Perspective
Reconciling the Disease/Not-a-Disease
Controversy • The Reality of the Disease/Not-a-Disease
Controversy • The Disease/Not-a-Disease Controversy
and the Nonalcoholic
6. The
Human Side of Alcoholism
A Disorder of the
Soul • Low Self-Esteem and Self-Hatred • The Word,
“Alcoholic” • Concept of “Rock Bottom” •
Interventions • Balancing Empathy with Responsibility
7. Aberrant Alcoholic Behaviors and Physical Side
Effects
Physical Health •
Brain Damage • Arrested Development • Bottle is
their Best Friend • “Name Your Poison” • “Fun
Drunk” vs. “Mean Drunk” • Secrecy and Hiding
Alcohol • Blackouts • Hygiene and Odor • The
“God Syndrome” • Pathological Lying • Jekyll and
Hyde Phenomena • Narcissism • Dual Diagnosis •
Living Crisis to Crisis • Dry Drunk • High
Maintenance and General Dysfunction • Functional
Alcoholics • Emotional Incest • Verbal, Emotional,
Physical, and/or Sexual Abuse and Violence • Symptoms
of Alcoholic Withdrawal • DT’s • Table,
“Symptoms of Alcoholic Withdrawal”
8. The Games Alcoholics Play
Traits and Case
Studies
9. How the Weapons of the Alcoholic Impact and Harm
the Entire Family
Weapons of the
Alcoholic • Emotional Terrorism • Active Aggressive
Control Tactics • Weapons of the Nonalcoholic •
Flowchart, “Generational Track Lines of Alcoholic
Relationships —Alcoholic Track”
10. Codependence and Enabling—The Reciprocal
Disorders
The Heart of
Codependence • Perceived Payoff of Codependence •
Empowered Recovery’s Definition of Codependence •
How to Get Rid of Codependence Instantly • Healthy
Interdependence • Enabling • Are You an Enabler? •
How to Stop Enabling Instantly • Flowchart,
“Generational Track Lines of Alcoholic Relationships
—Nonalcoholic Track”
11. The Games Codependent-Nonalcoholics Play
Traits and Case
Studies
12. Why People Remain in Alcoholic
Relationships
—The Stockholm Syndrome
Description and
Discussion • Table, “Why Women Stay in Abusive
Relationships”
13. Why I Stayed Stuck in an Alcoholic Relationship
and Why You Are Too
How My Beliefs Held
Me Hostage • What Beliefs Are Holding You Hostage? •
The Upside that Masquerades as the Downside
14. Exposing the Myths and Realities of Why People
Remain
Financial Fears •
“The Alcoholic Needs Me” • Negative-Positive
Reinforcement • “I Can Fix Him/Her” or “Addicted
to Addiction” • “I’m Not Worthy of a Healthy
Relationship” • “For the Children”/Keeping the
Family Together • Fear of Losing Custody of Your
Children • Fear of Loneliness/Loss of Companionship
• Missing Out if the Alcoholic Recovers • The Stigma
of Alcoholism and Embarrassment Over the Alcoholic •
Comfort Zones • Being a Quitter/Marriage Vows/Guilt
and/or Shame Over a Failed Relationship • Religious
and/or Traditional Beliefs • Fear for Personal or
Family Safety • The “If-Only’s”
15. Breaking the Generational Cycle of Alcoholism and
Codependence
The Impact of
Alcoholic Relationships on Children • Moral Obligation
• The Potential Effects of an Alcoholic Relationship
on Children • Case Study, “Think Kids Don’t
Suffer? Read This…” • Flowchart, “Generational
Track Lines of Alcoholic Relationships”
16. The First Step in Resolving an Alcoholic
Relationship —The Recovery Paragon
Self-Acceptance •
How to Build Your Self-Esteem • Self-Responsibility
• Three Universal Laws of Personal Responsibility •
Respect for Free Will • Self-Completeness • List,
“21 Traits of the Complete Person”
17. Who Owns You? —Reinventing Your Healthy
Boundaries
Boundaries and
Boundary Violations • Reinventing Yourself to
Establish Healthy Boundaries • How to Reinvent
Yourself in 5 Steps • The New You • The
Nonalcoholic’s Bill of Rights
18. How to Say it Assertively
11 Powerful Assertive
Confrontation Techniques for Nonalcoholics • How to
Say it Assertively • Examples of What to Say • The
Realities of Getting the Alcoholic to Respect Your
Boundaries
19. Three Secrets to Accelerating Resolution in an
Alcoholic Relationship
A Priceless
Life-Lesson • Actually Learning the Lesson • The
Journal of Your Life • Keeping it Simple • What is
Your Next Step Right Now?
20. The Critical Necessity of Documenting Alcoholic
Behavior
Properly Documenting
Alcoholic Behavior • Examples and Case Studies of
Proper Documentation • How My Practice of
Documentation Helped
21. Should I Stay or Leave? Part 1
• What Is, Is: Reconciling Expectations with Reality
Discussion of the
Realities of Alcoholic Relationships
22. Should I Stay or Leave? Part 2
• A Wake Up Call for
Abusive Relationships
Waking Up Your
Perspective • Flipping Your Perspective 180 Degrees
• Betrayal of Trust
23. Should I Stay or Leave? Part 3
• The Two Most Important
Relationship Questions (Relationship
Worksheet)
The Three L’s •
Self-Evaluation Worksheet • Evaluation of the
Alcoholic Worksheet • Should I Stay or Leave this
Relationship?
24. Practical Steps for Resolving Your Alcoholic
Relationship
Solution Finding Flowchart and Discussion •
Implementing Your Solution • To Tell or Not to Tell
• Maintaining Your Resolve • Backsliding/”Going
Back to the Bottle” • No Contact Rule • Custody,
Legal Issues, and Prudence • Making it Work
25. The Nightmare Ends; The Dream Begins —Managing
Your Grief, Guilt, and Loss
The Nightmare Ends
• Dealing with the Pain and Grief of Losing a
Relationship • The Dream Begins
A: Empowered Recovery’s
Glossary of Related Terms
80 common terms used
in Empowered Recovery regarding Alcoholism and
Codependence
B: Emergency Checklist for
Crisis Situations & Other Important
Information
Checklist for Leaving
an Abuser • Abuse Hotlines • Types and Traits of
Abuse • Safety Plan
C: 10 things You Should
Never Do in an Alcoholic Relationship
D: Reinvention
Worksheets
Instructions •
Sample List of Core Values • Sample List of
Characteristics • Reinvention Worksheet •
Characteristics Worksheet
E: Boundary
Violation/Response Worksheet
F: The Author’s
Story (eBook
only)
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